i was 12 or 13 when i used to catch weekly highlights of the bundesliga on tv (back when they actually showed such highlights on free tv, back when i actually watched tv, too much of it probably).
germany has always had quite a number of really talented goalkeepers, but i remember being really really impressed by this particular 21-year-old who played for borussia monchengladbach back then.
now, this was 10 years ago, a time when the legendary oliver kahn was still around, with the erratic jens lehmann and the forgotten timo hildebrand filling the backup spots on the national team.
still, i clearly remember telling myself back then (yeah, i talk to myself 'cos i have no social life) that he would almost certainly represent germany some time down the line. he was the undisputed national under 21 goalkeeper at that time, and things were looking bright (although hildebrand was younger than him).
anyway, time passed, and i forgot about this great sportsman. in reality, his career had taken him out of germany, where he had a mixed bag of experiences, some of which took him out of the spotlight.
but following the retirement of jens lehmann from the national team at the end of euro 2008, i was once again reacquainted with the mention of his name. he filled the position, and 13-year-old konrad's wish of seeing him as germany's number one had come true in spectacular fashion.
it seems that while i had forgotten about him during his stints abroad, he had made his way back to germany to play for hannover in 2004, and his performances here were so impressive that he was voted best goalkeeper in the league, a great honour when you consider all the other great german goalkeepers, including a lil someone known as oliver kahn who was still around at that time.
his teammates selected him as team captain and he continued doing well. mind you, hannover isn't a top club. they've finished in the top 10 only twice in the last decade, and they finished last season (08/09) in 11th spot - and still he managed to pick up the best bundesliga goalkeeper award (uhhuh, 08/09)!
if fit, it was almost guaranteed that he would be the man between the sticks for germany at next year's world cup.
about 4 days ago, he threw himself in front of an express train travelling at 160kph.
depression is a serious illness. it is not something that one can just 'shake off'. it is not 'all in the mind'. it's a complex issue resulting from both internal and external factors (including unfortunate biological predispositions).
"man up," they say, when a sportsman quits due to internal issues. "you've already got everything," they think, just because the sportsman has money and fame.
and as seen with robert enke, no amount of success as a high profile footballer nor great promise for the future seemed to matter in the end. sebastian deisler probably knows what it feels like. but if you haven't felt it or dealt with it, you probably don't.
people around him saw him as calm, intelligent and an all-round great guy. and that's not just talk, he really had heart.
"Robert Enke is a man who loves animals and is actively committed to their protection. He has saved a number of dogs, and his home resembles a small zoo. He has eight dogs (Balu, Santo, Oscar, Vincent, Branca, Hexe, Leao und Pincho), two cats (Pancho und Chispa), and a horse (Dickens) living in the Enke family home."

nobody in the game around him suspected that he had a problem although he had been battling it for years. as obviously (and tragically) damaging as it can be, depression is apparently not that easy to spot.
a decade since first noticing this outstanding sportsman, it saddens me to report his loss to an illness belittled by society.

as i remember him from 10 years ago

as you would've seen him in goal for germany at the world cup next year
would've. could've. should've.
i'm here.